Nothing good ever happens to me. I’m not someone who likes sitting around just waiting for something to happen. Every time I feel like a change needs to happen, It has to be me to make it come to fruition. All my life I’ve felt like I’ve needed to scratch, claw, and bite just to get a good outcome. Even then it never gets me ahead, only caught up to where everyone else is. With 2020 feeling like a breaking point emotionally and mentally, I feel like some change needs to happen. But this time, I’m going to try a different approach. Since I can’t go out and make much happen because of covid-19, I am going to try and count the positive things that have happened. I think it is important for me to try and recognize the good things as much as be aware of the bad things that have happened this year. It seems like a good starting point for getting back on track mentally and perhaps, help you see the little positives of this year as well.
Positives #1: Good Health
For my whole life, my health has never been the best. From a young age, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and since then I have dealt with unpleasant symptoms. My health affects me so much that I’ve had to go on disability so that my main focus can be to take care of myself. Now for the first time in my life, my health has been the most manageable it has ever been. Cutting out so much stress, simply having the time to rest when I need it, and eliminating daily physically demanding tasks has made me feel the best I have in a very long time. While I still have a long way to go, I’m so happy that I’ve gotten to a point where I feel like my life is manageable and my good days are outweighing the bad ones.
Positives #2: Disability Acceptance
Last year I decided it was finally time that I try and apply for disability because my health was becoming too unmanageable to keep up with a job, but for most that try to get disability, it can take months up to years. Even then, most of the time lawyers have to get involved just to get you approved. But for the first time in my life, I feel like I caught a break. I was approved in only 2 months of applying, and the day I got the news I remember bursting into tears from just hearing something so relieving. I was ecstatic to feel like I could finally catch a break and since then I’ve been able to take much better care of myself.
Positives #3: New Friends
This year has been one hell of a ride for me. I had a breakup from a 2 year relationship and had a major change in my religious views. With those two things, some people decide they don’t want to be associated with you anymore and you end up losing more friends than you thought you would. However, if this was going to happen it might as well of happened this year. Because of those things though, I’ve gotten to make some new friends and got closer to some of the friends I already had. I learned who my real friends are and changed my standards of how I want to be treated both in friendships AND relationships. This meant that I had to cut some people out, but that’s just how it has to go sometimes. Be unapologetic about it and stick to your standards and I promise good and better people will enter your life.
Positives #4: New Appreciations
I have gained a new appreciation for life itself. The life that I had before covid, I was able to go out to see friends or to a store whenever I wanted. I had the freedom to go somewhere without restrictions, not being afraid to cross state lines or even possibly flying out of country if I willed it. I also appreciate the life I have now, staying home for the most part and learning to enjoy my alone time when I normally hated being by myself. I’m grateful that I have plenty of food and have gotten by okay, I haven't been too stressed out about money and am currently learning to be patient with life; now I will have an even better appreciation for when things go back to normal.
Positives #5: Practicing Self-care
With all the free time I have to myself at home, I’ve gotten to practice a lot of self care. For me this includes: redoing my whole skincare routine so that it really suits my needs, learning new things like tarot reading and the like, reading more, and giving my body rest when it needs it most instead of pushing myself till I burn out. Self-care is so important and I realized that I wasn’t doing it enough but I am so happy that I’ve had the time to practice it this year.
While this year has been tough, I can’t say every little bit of it has been all bad. There have been some positive notes, and I am eternally grateful to of had them. I feel closer with people than I ever have, I’m learning to care for myself better and focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope this might help you feel just a little bit better about the year and I encourage you to think of at least 5 good things that have happened too. Happy reading and I’ll see you in my next post!
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