Dear Diary,
It’s been a little bit since I last wrote so I thought it was a good idea to write about the last few months. I’ve been taking a break from doing any projects and running my co-working club for various reasons but I feel that now is a good time to start jumping back into things.
HEALTH
Over the last few months I’ve been trying my new Crohn’s medication Stelara. I’m two maintenance doses and it finally feels like it’s starting to make a difference in how I feel day to day. I’ll admit it was a bit rough in the beginning, I got a lot of stomach cramping within an hour of getting the shot and it lasted about a week. I also seem to experience stronger depression and anxiety during that week as well. The first time I had the shot I felt extremely depressed, more so than I normally do and it felt different. Normally I can still find joy in little things like a nice breakfast when I wake up or my morning cup of tea but I was experiencing no emotion at all. The second shot I ended up feeling overly anxious about everything and there was no way to shake it. It seems that whatever I’m feeling at the time, the medication seems to make those feelings exacerbated. It isn’t an official symptom of the medication, but it’s happened a few times now and if it happens again I think its safe to say that it is a symptom.
On the bright side however, once that week is done, I start feeling much better. Maybe not 100% yet but my overall stomach/intestinal pain is lessened and bloating has been decreased a lot. Hopefully the longer I take it the more my symptoms will decrease. My next dosage is in November so I’ll try my best to make an update on how that goes.
WORK
While I have been taking a break for some time because my health has been so on and off, I’m finally feeling good enough to start doing some work again. Currently, I’m working on a Skyrim roleplay playthrough where I write a journal for my character as I progress through the game. I will be uploading them here to my blog every few days if not every day. While I had already started this about a month or so ago, I started having some mod issues along with an update that Bethesda put out for Skyrim that ended up messing with some mods, so I had to wait for that to get fixed before I could sort my already existing mod issue out. Now that everything is fixed I can finally start over again and start uploading them once more.
I have also started up my co-working Discord VC’s again. If you don’t know, I aim to create a space for people to use for co-working. I try to hold co-working voice/video/text chats in my Discord server Morgue’s Dwelling and the group is called The Co-Working Corpses’ Club (previously the creative corpses’ club). I wanted to change the name as I felt that the word “creative” was potentially turning people away as some don’t think they are “creative” enough to join. So I changed it to co-working as that is a little more on the nose to what the purpose of the club is. The club is open to everyone as long as you follow the rules I’ve set in place because this is a LGBTQIA+, neurodivergent, autistic, and BIPOC safe space. (I’m also always looking for feedback and what you’d like to see in a space like this so please email or DM me on socials if you wish). I’ve recently made a Twitter Community for this club as well so that it can be a place where we can support each other's work, hobbies, and passions. If this sounds interesting to you, please consider joining as it is still very small and I’m looking to expand and even find people who would like to run the club with me.
Other that the journaling and running my club, I’ve been trying to get back into reading and I thought that a good way to do that is to write little reviews on the books that I read. By the time this post goes out, I should already have my first review up here on my blog. It would mean a lot if you checked it out, so I will link it here for your convenience.
PERSONAL
Something that I have been extremely excited about is that my long distance boyfriend is finally coming to visit me for the first time. We met online and started dating during the pandemic, so traveling to another country has been very difficult to plan because of my health issues and the uncertainty of everything. Over the last year he has been an amazing form of support for me and me for him and I’m so happy that we finally get to spend some time together in person. The hardest part about this is that I have to wait several months before he comes over but I definitely have had a smile on my face that is hard to get rid of. What makes all of this better is that he will be here for my birthday, so for once I’m gonna be able to enjoy my birthday which I haven’t done in years.
I’m also trying to get back into making routines for myself. It has always been hard for me to do because I don’t like doing the same thing every day all the time and feel like I need to mix it up here and there. So while I’m figuring out what I want to do when I wake up and go to bed, I also should be thinking of routines to do that are every other day or every few days or things like that. One thing that has been helping me is that I got a new mattress recently (mainly so that my boyfriend has a place to sleep for when he visits). It has been helping me sleep better so I’ve been waking up earlier than normal. Normally I wake up around 9am-10am but lately it's been more like 7am-8am. It’s amazing how an extra two hours adds so much to my day.
I’m so grateful for the way things have been going lately. I’ve been feeling good and more motivated than ever to dive into my work while also trying to make sure I take care of myself both mentally and physically. It’s a balance of work, health, friendships, relationships and so much more but I’m finally feeling like more things are possible now that I’m not in pain and discomfort every day. If you’ve made it this far, I’d like to thank you for reading and hope you continue to support me with all the random things I do. It means a lot and I always appreciate it. I hope you come by again but for now, it’s time to take a break and have some tea. See you in my next post.
-Morgue 🖤
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